Brunswick County- A View from the Bridge
by Mike Watson Well, Rafe, We are hear at the ocean finally. Someone axed me how we came to be here. I told him I toted the snow sled until a man wanted to no what it was and I decided the only ice he new anything about was what goed in tea so I decided it would be a good place to live. The water is salty an you can't mix it with bourbon but feesh live good in it. The toied was so hoi last week the sharks got in me collard patch. I et an oyster but didn't now how to peel him and he gave me the most amazing stomek ache. What they calls crabs here don't look like they do at home. There bigger and you can eat them. The chickens are wild here. They are white and skinney. They are everywhere. They can swim. They taste like fish. The turkies are grey or white with long legs and eat fish. Some people live in houses in the water. They tried to plant a tater patch on a little hill next to the oean but a man came out and called me an ugly name and made me dig it up. They got coconut trees what ain't got no coconuts on them. Me and Ma went on a picknic yesterday but sat in a bad place. The ants are terrible. Little biddy devils but they are mean. Skeeters carried off one of the cats. You ought to see the lizzards here. One tried to git in the boat but mistook the dynamite I throed him for something to eat. We eat him. I saw a topless girl on the beech yesterday. She had oil all over her. She had blue eyes and blonde hair that was long and curly. She looked at me stretched and yawned and giggled and batted her eyes and ran down to the water looking over her shoulder. Her Mama said, "Come and take your bottle, Samantha Lynn." A porky pine has left little eggs all in the backyard that stick you when you go out barefoot. The road here ain't sand but hard and there ain't no land to plow so I'll be send the John Deer home first passing. Rite soon. Bubba Junior Originally published in The Pelican Post May 1996 issue.